Lost in translation

jaded ja ja ja jaded

Just got home from clubbing, and feel immensely jaded (and hungry, am indulging myself in the coffee cake I bought today as I type, one of the few indulgences I have here. J)

It could be the weariness, could be PMS-ing, could be the bad music, could be me really jaded. Tonight’s party was boring with a capital B, unlike yesterday’s with all the exchange students from my university. And it was really nice, cos you kinda now most people in the club and its nice just to mingle with people you are more or less comfortable with, thought I wouldn’t say totally comfortable. It’s like no matter what, you have to make an effort to make conversations (not always a chore though) and to look cool. Yeah, people long for acceptance everywhere they go and to be the minority in such a big group really sets you apart – in a good and bad way.

But anyway, I think there are too many Singaporeans. If you combine the students from both universities, there are like 8 or 9 of us. We are a contingency man. Its good and its bad. Sometimes when you just wanna relax and be totally comfortable with a group of people you dun have to impress at all, they are there. And really, nothing beats having people from the same country as you cos that’s a really strong bond you share. But then again, it makes it harder for you to blend in with the rest of the exchange students. The Singaporeans tend to clique together, and its not like we want to – we just do. But in the case of me and jace, its not that bad cos we arrived earlier and have already blended in pretty well with the rest of the exchange students, and we are living on the most happening floor of the hostel. Woohoo.

I’m trying to get the root of my jaded-ness. (I still don’t know) That’s why im here writing down my thoughts instead of heading straight to bed after partying, like I usually do. All these partying.. I dunno la, its quite unfulfilling. And people here party so much, they party for everything and drink beer like its water. It’s the culture. It’s fun no doubt, and I love partying myself. But when u party too much, you just wonder why u do it.


I always knew that im an individualistic person, sometimes I end up being selfish (it’s a thin line), unfriendly and very ‘dao’. Actually im quite like that, jace calls me ice queen. To be honest, I like the term but its not exactly the best thing in the world to be. Nobody is going to bother about an ice queen, UNLESS you are a super gorgeous hot babe. Which im obviously not. I just do what I like what, there’s nothing wrong. But no man’s an island, im friendly but im not always friendly. And I usually am not very kpo or take interest in the business of others ( a trait I think some girls should inherit) and cos of that, I dun usually judge others or gossip also. (ITS TRUE..haha) cos I dun care. But this thing about me not caring ah…really puts me in a bad light sometimes. Pple think im damn bo chup and damn dao, and that makes it harder to make frens. And the thing is, I don’t know if I should try to change. If I don’t care, I don’t care right. But..

Nothing. Nothing is ever about just you. I believe however small your action is, it’ll always affect someone/something else.

Im really tired. Tiredness overwhelmed all trend of thought.

Good nite.

posted by eMzie @ 10:13 AM